Are You Raising A Douchebag?
You want to say “Hi” to the cute girl on the subway. How will she react?...– an excerpt from Phaedra Starling’s “Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced” (via cuntlovin)
Zooey Deschanel: Is that rain?
Siri: What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to-
Zooey Deschanel: Let's get tomato soup delivered!
Siri: ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.
Zooey Deschanel: Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.
Siri: Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-
Zooey Deschanel: Remind me to clean up.
Siri: Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-
Zooey Deschanel: Tomorrow.
Siri: I'm in hell. This is hell.
Zooey Deschanel: Excellent. Today, we're dancing.
Siri: I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.
Zooey Deschanel: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
Siri: I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.
Zooey Deschanel: *dances*
Siri: Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.
Politics in the real world
One of the most important pieces of legislation in my day to day life is the Civil Marriage Act. “This enactment extends the legal capacity for marriage for civil purposes to same-sex couples in order to reflect values of tolerance, respect and equality, consistent with the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms. It also makes consequentialamendments to other Acts to ensure equal access...
Thoreal: Hair Product Of The Norse Gods
If The Avengers Had Facebook...
So avoid using the word ‘very’ because it’s lazy. A man is not very tired, he...– Dead Poets Society, 1989 (via raspberrymilk) - I’m all about vocabulary, seriously there seems to be a word to express anything acuratly and that is fucking amazing!